S2 E2: Charlene Vela on dance aesthetics, Asian accents, and what to do if you don’t know how to pronounce someone’s name.

GUEST

Charlene is a Filipino American. She was born in Switzerland and moved to the states with her parents and younger brother when she was four years old, living most of her life in Texas. During the day she works at a tech company in Austin, and in her free time she loves being part of the local dance community, and playing board games with her friends and husband. Instagram

DEFINITIONS

Body shaming is criticizing or mocking someone for supposed bodily faults or imperfections, such as their height, weight, facial features, skin, hair texture, tattoos, etc.

TAKEAWAYS

1. Growing up in the only Asian family in town can make it hard to connect with one’s culture when we have no one to compare notes with. It becomes hard to know what’s a family quirk versus a cultural thing.
2. Negative comments about accents add pressure on immigrants and their kids to assimilate. When people commented on their parents’ accents, both Ari and Charlene were embarrassed, thinking there was something wrong with their parents. So they tried to sound more white, and do what the white kids do, which sometimes meant distancing themselves from their Asian culture in order to fit in.
3. Careless words can have lasting impact.The people making these off-hand comments often don’t think they said anything hurtful and soon forget about it. But their words have lasting impacts on the people receiving them.
4. While it might be hard to understand someone with an accent, it’s worth remembering that they are speaking in a language other than their mother tongue, and appreciate their ability and willingness to do so for our benefit.
5. Simply being surrounded by people who look different can make you self conscious, even if no one ever body shames you. In ballet for example, the costume sizes being unrealistically small, or the curvier dancers being placed in the back enforce a culture of valuing thinness without necessarily saying so.
6. If you don’t know how to pronounce someone’s name, ask them how to pronounce it, and then give it a shot. People will appreciate you trying rather than giving up and saying “Oh I’m not even gonna try to pronounce that”. Coz that makes them feel like they don’t belong and that they’re an inconvenience to you.
7. Finally, it doesn’t matter whether you speak the language, or spent time in the country your ancestors came from. You are Asian enough.

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Hosts: Sherry-Lynn Lee (Lazou) & Ariadne Mila

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